The Fat Lad used to sing.........but he doesn't anymore!

By comparison to yesterday Friday 13th June 1975 was pretty good. I didn't think so at the time. I was convinced I was going to get knacked off Mam 'cos a fat cunt from school (David Buglass) slashed the back of my school blazer. I didn't get knacked - he did though!

Yesterday, however, was the worst day!
I'm saying that, but the day before was shit. On Thursday one of my brothers was admitted to James Cook Hospital after suffering a heavy 'bleed' from his mouth. He had been diagnosed with cancer of the mouth in December 2006, eventually having most of his tongue removed in September 2007.

He was readmitted on the May Day Bank Holiday earlier this year when he started having these heavy 'bleeds' from his mouth. He was discharged after a day or so, and he had a scan a couple of weeks later. When he was re-admitted to hospital a couple of days ago, the hospital staff confirmed that the results of the scan showed that the cancer had returned and he was 'a walking time bomb'. The doctor told me he our lad may go home the following day - or he might not make it to the following day.

He was very calm about his fate. He looked healthier than he had done for months, and dare I say it, happier than he had for a couple of years. He had asked to see a priest and he appeared relaxed. I visited him twice on Thursday. The first time with my Uncle Len (an absolute star throughout our lad's illness), the second time with Mam and Dad, when we were joined by my other brother.
When we left him at just after 8p.m. we said our goodbyes for the night and I had to convince myself not to be optimistic as he looked so well.

He did make it to Friday 13th, but died very quickly, and hopefully, very peacefully at around 1a.m.

My Spanish / English calendar's phrase for 13th June is ?Cuando vas a estar de vuelta? (When are you going to be back?)

7th November 1947 - 13th June 2008
R.I.P.




Cheers fella!

Well ok, I might write now and again,even if it is only to post pictures of Pirate Dave




and keep Goffa updated on footwear.

I haven't heard that song for a while - I wonder what happened to her?

Oddly she's next to Alice Martineau on my itunes collection. I remember what happened to her!


Since I'm being all nostalgic whatever happened to Izal bog roll?



I used to hate that stuff? Too slippy for my liking - I've got to admit to the odd accident using that stuff!

Ordered myself a pair of these bad boys yesterday



In beautiful Leeds blue & yellow.

I heard a tape recording of a clairvoyant today - very clever stuff. Not the predictions (that will remain to be seen), but the way she cleverly provided entertainment by duping the punters. Clairvoyants? I know what I think of them!

Not sure whether I'll be posting again - bored with it and its shit anyway.

We've had to change the words to the above ever so slightly after last Sunday's debacle. Still, I had a good time and I was only abusive a couple of times, which shows I am maturing- and I made a new friend!


Not maturing enough though, to not be seriously thinking about another tattoo - I'll be going for the England 'tat' I put on here a few months ago. The great thing about getting a 'tat' in English is even Scorpio can't screw it up

I've struggled to stop listening to the new Pigeon Detectives album since I bought it on Monday




Get it bought!

Don't think I'll be making it to Music Live in Boro on Sunday, which is a shame - some good stuff on. For those of you who are going it's worth checking out 'The Infadels', as well as Fat Lad favourite 'Dan le Sac vs Scroobius Pip'.

Oh and by the way, the albums I bought last Saturday are all class - even the one by Band of Horses who I'd never heard of before.

Take care all!

I wasn't going to post today but I feel that ill about the match tomorrow I have to do something to take my mind off it.

I was in Binns today and felt a tinge of sadness at the lack of hunchbacks operating the lift.



I used to look forward to getting in a lift just so I could see somebody like him - it's all very sad.

We haven't a 'Fat Lad Fault' for a while, so here's one - I can't fucking sleep!

Good Luck to Andy Abrahams in Eurovision tonight - he should win, obviously, but he won't because of the Balkan conspiracy. Some of these bastards need to remember if it wasn't for the likes of great English men like Andy they'd all be singing in German!

Me siento muy mal

So I've started the Wembley weekend with a bang!

Got started on purchasing my Wembley outfit with a nice CP shirt - plain, but very, very nice.

I also made a few purchases out of my Sickness incentive vouchers - the following CD's have come into my possession today

Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend

Exotic Creatures of the Deep - Sparks

Band of Horses - Band of Horses

Midnight Boom - The Kills

Night Nurse - Gregory Isaacs


I've only heard the CD by The Kills, but this sounds very good.
I've never even heard Band of Horses, so they may well be shite (I won't tell you if it is).
The Sparks album will, of course, be superb.
I like what I've heard of Vampire Weekend, so why not?
And as for Mr Isaacs, I'll let you know what he's like live after his gig at Middlesbrough Town Hall tomorrow night.

I've struggled to write this blog this week, particularly after the trauma of Wednesday night

But at least there was some good news last night with those "Brit' loving jocks fucking it up last night

I hope Leeds don't do a 'Gers.
It's a shame Wembley won't be full - this is taken from the Donny website

"It is with great regret that Doncaster Rovers must announce the suspension of sales of tickets at the Keepmoat Stadium Ticket Office.

This is a measure that has been forced into place, due to the high amount of Leeds United supporters and ticket touts who have now started grouping outside the perimeter of the Keepmoat Stadium following the Leeds United allocation at Wembley being sold out completely".

Donny with an average crowd of 7,000 tickets were given the same number of tickets as Leeds (average support 27,000) - obviously Leeds fans were going to buy them in their end!

If I was the OB I'd be looking out for the lads in the high visibility vests and the fancy dress. They won't be though, will they? No, they'll be looking for the soft touches before they have a big slap up meal in the closest PremierInn.

I was talking to Thornaby veteran and friend of The Fat Lad recently who believes GMTV stands for Gay Men TeleVision - He might have a point!

Keep your fingers crossed for Sunday folks!!!

Love to you all x

Hyperlink R.I.P.



When the routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions wont grow
And were changing our ways,
Taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again

Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect run so dry?
Yet theres still this appeal
That weve kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings expose?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
Is it something so good
Just cant function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again

Lets see if it works - Probably the best blog in the world ever

Cheers Goffa - it works a treat!

It's not easy being a football fan. Even if you're a dirty red you have your disappointments.
As a Leeds fan over the last few years I've almost shed many a tear. We've been in administration and had two relegations. We've got a team of players who wouldn't have got in the ground without a ticket a few years ago. We've got Agent Bates in charge. We've been knocked out of the F.A. cup in a round I didn't even know existed. I've had to go to Yeovil and Macclesfield this season

But sometimes, just sometimes, it's all worth it !!!



Thank you!

I've just been watching that film 'Stigmata', when all of a sudden I looked down and this is what I saw




In the name of the father..........

Another thing I hate about Man Utd fans is their lies.
I always ask them if they ever go to Old Trafford to watch them, and invariably they don't. They then come up with that old chestnut about not being able to get a ticket unless your a season ticket holder! They must have a lot of season ticket holders travel over from Japan every week then!

As the buy Jessop said earlier - 'Wankers!'

Watched the second half of Wigan v Manchester United today. To be honest I was glad that I did - it made me remember why I hate Man Utd, and even more, how much I hate the smug fans. They all had their shirts on and were being their gobby selves as usual - some took exception when I said I hoped Chelsea won the Champions League. I was asked why ? The answer was easy - I fucking hate Man Utd. One of the lads who I said it to had been bottled over the head years ago.............by a Leeds fan. I told him I was a Leeds fan as well, just to cheer him up.
So some on Chelsea, beat the filthy red scum.

I was talking the other day about what I would put in room 101, so here's my three choices



3/4 quarter length shorts. I particularly hate seeing blokes of my age wearing them, but to be fair, nobody looks good in them.



Those stupid butterflies that people decorate their houses with - why? If you are ever in the Crook area there are hundreds of houses like the one above.



Scotland - enough said!

I don't think there can be any arguments about those three.


La lectura es rapida y amena

Boring?
I can't believe in some circles this blog is being described as boring?
Oh well, here's some more shite!
I read this headline with interest 'Great tits cope well with warming' - unfortunately the reality wasn't what a lot of the male readers were hoping for (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7390109.stm).

I've just come back from scotland after another conference. Yet again this was attended by hordes of freaks who obviously only get out when these conferences are on. There seems to be a mirror shortage in scotland?

Over the years I've seen loads of news coverage of starving people or people in fear of their lives, flocking to borders to escape a country in turmoil. This was scotland at about 4p.m. yesterday




Do we need another 'Sangatte' north of the border? Is it time to set up road blocks? Is it time for tighter border control? I think so - I'm sure I'm not alone.

Once upon a time there was a website called 'LazyBastards.org' - a trailblazer for people with a disability. If it was still operating this would be on it



LazyBastard!

Benner was out on the drink again last weekend




I worry about Benner.
I worry more about Carlos though




I bet they don't play that at 'Sumo' fella. I'll ask my spies.



Be good y'all

Did you hear about that Irish family who got pissed up in Portugal while they were looking after their kids? What a disgrace - are they stupid? They should've just left them in their apartment - they could've had free trips around Europe for years!

I was talking about a legend yesterday - Peter Dowdeswell!

The bloke broke over 300 eating and drinking records, but my favourite was his 'attempt' at the world record for eating doughnuts. He was approached by a charity to be sponsored and they contacted the Guinness Book of Records and told Peter that the world record for eating regulation size doughnuts was 130 in 1 hour.

The legend had a think about it and decided to give it a go.

The local press were assembled, cameras at the ready and Peter had his witnesses and 150 doughnuts waiting.

At the end of the hour he had eaten 129! He was gutted!

That night he went home, relaxed and went to bed.

In the middle of the night he woke in real pain, and with a heavily swollen stomach. He went to hospital and was admitted - the x-ray revealing 129 'holes' (ok I made that bit up).

The next morning he got a call from the charity. They had made a mistake - the record had been 30!

He'd smashed it by 99!!

I give you the legend that is Peter Dowdeswell

I've been neglecting you for a while - sorry!
I was going to post yesterday but couldn't cope. What a fucking bad day the 1st May was.
So called Labour Day or International Workers' Day it proved to be a disaster for the Labour Party who got slaughtered in the local council elections and look to have lost the race for the Mayor of London.

It was also the day that this Tory bastard



got what he wanted with the confirmation of the deduction of Leeds United's 15 points. What a wanker!

This is what The Times thinks;

"What did Leeds do wrong again? They did not exit administration via a CVA. The taxman, miffed that he is no longer the top creditor while all football debts have to be paid, scuppered the escape plan. So they put it to a vote of Football League clubs. Would you League One chaps like to see your promotion rival docked 15 points? Would you League Two chaps like to play Leeds next season? Would anyone with a grudge against Ken Bates fancy a bit of revenge?

In addition to the 10 points for going into administration last season, Leeds got another 15. Others will duly follow. Expect Bournemouth to be playing non-league football before too long. Rotherham and Luton are also in administration. Will they be able to placate the taxman?

The tribunal criticised Leeds for taking so long to bring the action, but again the blame for that must surely lie with the Football League who generally move with the speed of a stuffed sloth on a morphine drip. It remains to be seen what they do know as a very dodgy precedent has been set.

There is also the question of whether clubs should be penalised for the follies of previous regimes. Leeds are the worst examples of the greed-is-good culture of modern football, but the crash and burn was initiated by a chairman who will be proudly going to the FA Cup Final. Funny old game."

So I blame one man for the Tory bastards getting everything their own way



To help me through this bank holiday weekend I would love to see the twat try and break David Blaine's recent world record of holding his breath for 17 minutes and 4 seconds - how about trying to hold it for about 45 years (that should see me out of the way)

I was reminded by Carlos Santanas earlier today about events of the early hours of yesterday morning involving Pirate Dave



Now Dave's success with the ladies is very well known in the back alleys of Stockton, but in a Glastonbury field yesterday morning he decided to try his luck with another kind of lady and he got bitten in the stomach off her.

I'd stick to the plastic ones if I was you Dave!



There you go Carlos, it's gone global.

Uncanny!!!
I've just been watching Dr Who

What do you think? Separated at birth?

I'm knackered!
I've had a really busy couple of days, starting on Thursday night when I went to see the absolutely brilliant Adele





The only thing I could fault was her dress sense - I'm sure Trinny and Susannah would be able to re-style her - but what a voice, and what charisma!

I then had to set off at 7a.m. yesterday to travel town to Yeovil for Leeds last (regular) away game of the season. Once again Leeds fans filled every part of the ground to give Yeovil their biggest ever crowd at the stadium.



Budgie was slightly more prepared than normal as Dawn packed his bag for him



....he even brought clean knickers and socks this time!!

At the back of the photo is a picture of Hicky. We had a game of bowls in one of the pubs in Glastonbury where we stayed, and Hicky won £8 off the rest of us.



WTF would he be like if he won the lottery?

Glastonbury has more purple shoe wearing pixies than any other place in the country. I would say it was worth a visit - but it isn't.

So after another Leeds away win, celebrations for going top of the league (well if we had those 15 points the bastard Football League took off us) and a singathon in both ends I went back to our Travelodge and woke up next to this



She's a lucky lass that Dawn!

My ENGLISH pride I will not hide
My ENGLISH race I shan't disgrace
My ENGLISH blood flows hot and true
My ENGLISH land I'll stand by you
Through thick and thin
'til the day we die
Our ENGLISH pride shall stand so high



"Cry God for England, Harry and St George!"